Kreating a new Kerrie

After years of excuses and lamenting about how fit and thin 'I used to be', I have finally decided to take control back again and have joined Michelle Bridges' 12 week body transformation (12WBT).  Part of my journey involves me 'putting my goals out to the universe' so that I have the best chance of success.  So, this is me... putting it out there!  Universe, hear me roar!

I have to be totally honest - this scares the bejeezers out of me!  It's not that I haven't lost weight before.  It's not that I haven't been fit before. It's that I might fail at something that I really need right now, physically, mentally.  I'm tired, I'm getting sick, I'm lacking in confidence.  I feel like I am not the 'me' that I really want to be. Something has to change!

Less than three years ago I was almost 10kg lighter than I am now (and 3 months pregnant at the time!).  Sure, that weight was partly due to sickness (I got salmonella in Borneo, which triggered Post-Infection Trauma Irritable Bowel), but prior to that I loved the gym,  Heck... I craved the gym!  What scares me now is how I am going to do it all whilst juggling my son.

People often say to me that it must be tough raising Sebastian on my own.  My general response is that I don't know any different.  Probably the reality is really that in my life as a Mum I don't know what it is like to raise a child with a partner.  If Sebastian is sick, injured, happy, needs a cuddle/anything then it is up to me to do it. I'm okay with that, in fact most days I wouldn't have it any other way (but that's a whole other story!).  My question is how do I align the 'fit' me with the 'mummy' me?  When I was at my fittest I was in total control of my timetable, food and exercise.  I had the ability to be self-focused.  How can I successfully achieve this with this extra little person constraining me?  How can I get fit at home when I HATE exercising in the lounge? How, how, how?!?!?

One of our first challenges was to look at our self doubts and excuses, so, in the spirit of "JFDI", I am going to try to not over think it (hard for an analyst!) and am going to just try to make it happen.  Get up off the couch and prepare the food.  Get up out of bed and just exercise... be it for a half hour or just stretching. JUST DO SOMETHING!!

When I was looking at taking this on I discussed it with my sister and I am thrilled to say that we are going to do this together.  Her journey is a little tougher than mine, but mentally we have some of the same challenges to overcome.  I am so totally proud of her for taking the first step.  She will no longer be a shrinking violet... she will just be shrinking! My Auntie has since joined the team and my other sister is going to join next round.  Again they are facing big challenges, so it is a huge thing for us all.  Along with this great support network I have also told my team at work what I am doing, so that should help to keep me honest too.  So add in the Universe and You for support and I feel like I have a fighting chance!

Well, that's enough rambling for tonight.  I've got to get going on my pre-season tasks.  Less than two weeks to go until we start!! Wish me luck!

Oh and a final thought - if you would like to hang out with me during the next 14 weeks, then please consider suggesting a walk or something active.  As much as I love a great meal or coffee, I would appreciate your support in the little changes required to build new habits.  Thanks!!

Kxx